You are not broken

It could happen to anyone.

You are not ‘mentally ill’. I know that sounds odd- especially if you have received a diagnosis of an illness. You may not even like me saying that! Sometimes we feel better when we are labelled with a ‘disorder’ as then we aren’t responsible… are we? It’s out of our hands and in the psychiatrists or doctors hands. That’s not to say you aren’t suffering- I know you are- and I have been where you are now.

But consider this…

Just as we all have cells in our body that could become cancerous, we all have the potential to develop symptoms that align with a ‘diagnosis of illness’. This doesn’t mean that we will develop symptoms of course. Just like our cells have inbuilt safety measures, so does our mind.

It our responsibility to provide our mind with the care it requires to be well.

Take the time to imagine six visual analogue scales, all labelled neatly. A visual analogue scale is a 10 cm line with anchors placed along the length defining – in this case – different dimensions of mental health. The line is anchored at one end with 0 – meaning no feeling, and 10 – meaning extremely intense feeling.

Now imagine that the first scale has a label of depression, the next is labelled anxiety, the next is attention deficit disorder (ADHD), the next is labelled bipolar disorder, the next autism/Asperger’s, and the last schizophrenia. There are many more ‘disorders’, but let’s just use these as an example.

So, imagine every human is sitting somewhere on these scales – you don’t have a choice, we are all somewhere on every scale – it may be at 0, but we are on there. Now visualise the analogue scale for depression. You are lying on the scale, with 0 being ‘not one skerrick of melancholy’, and 10 being the ‘depths of doom and despair – not functioning or getting out of bed’.

You, after years of semi abuse to your body, that is, eating takeout at least two to three times a week, binge drinking on weekends, burning the candle at both ends with poor sleep quality, and very little physical activity, are sitting at around 4 or 5. You have moments of feeling depressed, lack motivation at times, sometimes feel that life has little meaning, and you occasionally find it hard to find joy in the little things.

Then, one day, while you are walking through life just fine (on this scale at about 4 or 5,) and your partner leaves you. You are left heartbroken and desolate. Because your mind doesn’t have the strength or resources, as a result of poor lifestyle choices (because you weren’t even aware that you could protect your mind with good lifestyle choices), the break up is the catalyst for jumping right on up that scale to an 8–9! You stop eating, you sleep all day, can’t sleep at night, and you can’t function – you feel that the meaning to life has just evaporated. There are moments when you want to end it, or feel life is just pointless.

Or, you have had a childhood where you weren’t safe as a result of sexual abuse. You didn’t talk about it, rather you covered it up and got on with it because that is the only way you could cope. Many years later symptoms began manifesting. Because of the immense struggle you are now experiencing you no longer care for yourself the way you know you should. Before long the symptoms become out of control and you are diagnosed with a severe mental illness.

The point of this analogy is to argue that we all have the predisposition to slip over on the scale to the manifestation of an emotional/mind illness, such as anxiety or depression. Or even worse.

You are not broken- you are just on a journey and your symptoms are guiding you.

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