Getting past the past
Alan Watts – a visionary preaching in the ’50s, long before enlightenment and biohacking became the wellness concepts du jour – asks us to recall a time that we saw a friend in the street. Watts points out that we aren’t really witnessing the event, as we can’t go and ask our friend a question, or shake their hand; rather we are looking at a present trace of the past. What this means is we recall things as a present experience. For example, I may recall the time that my friend hurt my feelings, which draws the experience into the present moment. But it’s not real anymore; that moment doesn’t exist now. We can apply that to all of our past hurts and failures. Looking back only projects that ‘past’ to contaminate our future.
Two monks
Two monks – not allowed to directly gaze at females – were travelling from one monastery to another. After walking for a long time, they came to a river where they had to cross. The river was flooded and there was no way that they would get across without getting wet. A woman also stood at the banks of the river, distressed as she had to get home to her children.
The elder monk, without much concern offered to carry her across the river. He did so and put her down once they had crossed safely. The woman thanked him and went on her way, and the two monks continued their walk in silence.
Hours went by and then the younger monk, the one who had not offered to help the woman, finally spoke. He had spent hours very upset at the other monk’s actions and stated ‘We are not allowed to look at women, and certainly not touch them, but you carried a woman across the river!’ The elder monk replied ‘I put her down when I crossed the river, are you still carrying her?’
Once the elder monk had put the woman down he had let the issue go and didn’t dwell on the past. He made the choice to go against his vows to help someone, and then he chose to let go of self-blame or guilt. The younger monk held onto judgment, anger, criticism, self-pity and other negative emotions.
As a result he was miserable for the remainder of the trip.
It is important to visit the past to heal any childhood trauma and work through the associated PTSD. However once that work is done we have to move forward.
For less traumatic incidences, it is time to let go of the past, and stop reliving it. We need to stop telling a story where the protagonist is the victim of someone else. We are the protagonist when we hold onto the past and our all our victim hurts.
When we place our focus on the here and now, there is no time to think about the past. When the past memories creep into consciousness, acknowledge them for a moment, acknowledge the hurt or discomfort and then bring yourself gently back into the present moment.
If we crowd our brains with bad memories and hurt feelings, there’s little room for seeing the abundance of beauty in the world. We need to step into our power and see that it’s a choice we are making to relive the hurt every time we step back into the past.
Right now in the present moment is where joy lives.
Exercise: Visualisation – getting past the past
Find a comfortable spot and sit with your back supported. Ensure that you have 10–15 minutes without interruptions; lock yourself away.
Close your eyes and breathe in for the count of four and out for the count of eight. Do this for 10 deep breaths.
Now think back to something that happened to you yesterday. Just briefly consider it, and move onto a more distant memory, for example something that happened last week.
While you are recalling these memories, focus on moving down a tunnel, or a ladder, which corresponds with going back in time.
Then in your mind’s eye slowly move back through previous years remembering random events. Focus on the bad memories that come up and take time to look at them, then move down deeper into the tunnel until you reach the earliest memory you have.
When you have reached the earliest memory, move down a little more until you reach the bottom.
Imagine yourself sitting crossed legged on the bottom of your long tunnel of memories. It is dark and quiet and you are alone, just sitting with all your past sitting above your head: from the earliest memory, to the most recent.
Then when you feel ready, look up at your past above you and imagine it exploding into nothing. The best fireworks show ever!
Once all those memories of the past have exploded, and the sky is clear, imagine yourself shooting out of that dark place right up the tunnel to the present day.
You have a clean slate. The past has exploded before your eyes and you can now exist in the present.
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